In baseball, you call a utility player someone who can play all the positions on the field. As a military wife/SAHM (stay at home mom) you have to also play all positions at times when your significant other is not around. On the other hand, your significant other does not have to be on a deployment or away on TDY for you to contribute to mowing the lawn, changing the oil or taking out the trash. Now "killing spiders" is another story because I will not do that unless my husband is home so he can protect me against the spider that is going to eat me alive!! So back to the story, you should politely ask your husband/wife if he/she would be willing to teach you some things around the house. I mowed the lawn today and it was so great, it actually started a chain reaction around the neighborhood, as I started mowing the lawn I saw several of the men around the neighborhood take their lawn mowers out...as the women watched of course. I feel great to be able to help my husband out, I am not afraid to get a little dirty as well as GRASSY. I am glad I know how to fix a mower too in case it so happens to die on me. Men should ask their wives to learn a few tricks as well!! Like cooking, sewing or doing laundry. I am lucky to say my husband was fully trained when I met him!! Ha ha!!
Deployments can be really hard because it makes you become a single parent. I have two boys and so I feel like soon I will need to know how to teach them how to play baseball, charge their batteries in their powerwheels, and learn to dig up worms and other interesting bugs out there (just the thought makes me squirm)...but anyhow, I want to be prepared. We as spouses don't think about these things while our spouses are home, I try and learn several things here and there in order to not only contribute, but to become that UTILITY player of this family team.
Don't be afraid to use your husband's tools, learn the names, learn what they do. Trust me, it won't make you any less of a woman to learn what makes up an engine in your car or to learn how to change a tire. It will make you an even SMARTER and INDEPENDENT woman at that! So in closing, go learn something you thought you would never do!!