|First Arrived in Belgium|
I don't live in a normal "military life" right now. My husband is not deployed and I get to see him almost every day. He is home to help me with the kids and the house and everything in between. I have been so lucky. I think I have gotten used to that idea and with a PCS coming up in almost two weeks...I need to step back into reality!! And quick! I have lived like this for three years.
When my husband and I were talking about coming to Belgium we thought it was brilliant...because he wouldn't have to deploy...was that him running from deployment...hell no. He had deployed three times before this and a slot was open for him in Belgium..that is how it worked out for us. Many would call this place a career killer, because a soldier just sits and waits really. I called it a new adventure because we made the most of it while we were here....but that is all about to change.
Let me let you in on some secrets of mine..my hubby already knows this but I will admit this: I start things and don't finish them. I am guilty of loading the dishwasher and not unloading it. I am guilty of putting the clothes in the washer and not transferring them to the dryer....or folding clothes and not putting them away..I just have a bad habit!! My husband is usually the one to finish my messes. I ADMIT IT and I am so used to this behavior. What I am used to the most, is having my husband here with me anytime I need him.
I am scared of change...but I need to face it. Soon my husband will be thrown into a unit he has never been in before, he will have soldiers again who need him. He may not get the free time to be home. I am super dependent. I know there is another word for that....but at least I can admit that I am. I hate being dependent...my husband enjoys it. He feels needed and I do need him....
So the new year will bring about many changes. To start off, I will be working on improving myself, becoming less dependent on my husband and more dependent on myself. I will be on a job search as I have laid out all my goals for 2012. I will be starting school again to start my Masters. This may be my way with dealing with change, filling it up with other things to do while I adjust. Our lives are about to change. Facing reality can be scary at times...but I am up for a new challenge! Now back to finishing what I started...which is a whole mess of things!! lol.