Monday, February 20, 2012

Military Wives Surprise Me Yet Again!!!

"Why are Asians so mean at the commissary?"

I read a comment on a public forum that said this exact thing and a military spouse wrote it. Was I offended??? YES.
I am not Asian and I do not work at the commissary. The comment was referring to the Korean ladies who work at the commissary as baggers and only work for tips. Some wives believe that they are just plain ol' rude to them. Some wives even went ahead to agree and say that they didn't deserve tips. The one comment that stuck with me was, "I am not going to tip them if they can't speak English!"  SAY WHAT? QUE??
I believe that the post was offensive to begin with. Not many people understand that different ethnic groups have different customs, they act differently, are brought up differently, and adapt differently. Some people may seem rude but for them it may be completely normal.
I've never experienced bad service from any of the baggers, I never assume they are Korean, Chinese, Japanese, Mexican, Caucasian or whatever...they are baggers who work for tips. One thing that I always do is start a small conversation with them, asking them how their day is going, talk about the weather. That is the polite thing to do. I always get a positive response. So let's assume they are Korean. SO WHAT??? They are working for tips and if they bag my groceries and load them in my car, they will get a tip. Not once have they thrown my groceries in the car. I have always been handed my bag with eggs and bread in it...so I am not sure what these women are talking about. People are usually rude if you are rude to them first. I don't think someone is going to throw your groceries in your car just for the hell of it. I could be wrong...
Some of the women made complaints that the Korean ladies would stare at their children if they were blond and blue eyed....READ UP ON YOUR CUSTOMS AND TRADITIONS PLEASE!! They are fascinated and not just by blond and blue eyed children, but by children in general. Family is the most important element in their lives and culture. If your child is small (0-6months old) and you are out in the rain with the baby, they will be sure to tell you that your child should be indoors kept warm away from the cold. They will tell you and it will come out rude because they speak directly and consider LESS IS MORE when they speak. Understanding a person's culture is really crucial in the military lifestyle because you as a military spouse are going to travel and be around different ethnic groups, unless of course you decide to stay home while your hubby moves overseas. Even then the United States is a melting pot of different customs and traditions.
My husband was stationed in Belgium for three years at SHAPE NATO, where more than 26 different countries were represented there. Italian, Turkish, Spanish, American, French, Romanian, German, Great Britain, Lithuanian, and MORE!!! That meant studying a little bit of customs and traditions. I went to dinners and sat at tables with other nationalities. IT WAS IMPORTANT to know at least the NOT WHAT TO DO's. You don't want to seem uneducated and trust me if you do something completely rude or out of the ordinary, you may hear about it later. I am by no means ever going to play the "WELL I AM AMERICAN, I DON'T NEED TO KNOW ALL THAT."
I take pride in learning about customs and traditions. I take pride in being open-minded. I take pride in representing my country. I am not a soldier but I am a spouse of a soldier and I am proud of it.
But most of all, I am an immigrant's daughter and I am proud of it.
My father was born and raised in Mexico. He was a migrant worker and that is how he met my mother when he was 20 years old. My mother was born in Texas and raised in Mexico so the Mexican traditions practiced in my mother and father's home will carry on to my household. I may tweak some but overall I am proud of the customs and traditions I grew up with. Some people say that MEXICANS are LAZY and I laugh every time. EACH race has a stereotype...I don't like to stereotype any race because each individual is different. Will I make fun of my culture sometimes?? Yes because I can find humor in it, but for another person to make a generalization like that and not expect a NEGATIVE RESPONSE, is ridiculous.
Some people post things because they believe that the majority will agree. Unfortunately in this case, the majority did agree!! I was not that majority. I believe in standing up for others, even if they are a different ethnicity than me. When one race talks about another race like that...it is offensive. There were no Koreans online at the time but I still felt the need to defend them because I have been a minority before and knows how it feels to be placed in a stereotype. I defended them because they are people too.  A lot of the comments were very ignorant and I accept that some people just haven't learned or were brought up a certain way....what really got me was the younger generation because their views traced back to slavery times, RIDICULOUS!! Commissary baggers are not your servants, yes they perform a service for a tip, but they are not servants.
I am sort of glad that some of the wives finally unleashed their true colors because it helped me weed out the ones I will be staying away from...they are often the ones who complain that they don't have friends to hang out with...hmmmmm I wonder why?? You live in a box.

Sorry there have been so many rants lately but I am just so stunned sometimes at how some women believe it is acceptable to act a certain way on a public forum, a military spouse forum, with names and faces, and think that no one will ever find out that they made rude comments. KARMA.

The group was changed from OPEN to CLOSED as of one day ago. I wonder why??? Truthfully I was hoping that the post would have been deleted right when it was posted and it took over 200 plus comments for that to happen. Maybe it was because a person who was KOREAN saw it and made a statement. I am disappointed ladies...this is not how I like to be represented!!

SOLUTION LADIES: Do what my husband and I do at the commissary, group your groceries by category on the belt and you will sure have items bagged the way you want them. Put a little work into something and receive what you want in the end. No complaints and the bagger gets a tip.... both parties win.

"They should learn English before they work in the United States." 

This one makes me laugh. Many foreigners know how to speak English properly, sometimes more properly than those born and raised in this country. Most of them can even use grammar correctly. I often make mistakes, forget to use commas and such. I can't criticize others.  Some of the ladies on there can't spell or use grammar correctly. The person who stated that Koreans should learn English wrote: "well koreans should learn english, o well!"

English is a tough language to learn even for us who live here:


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