Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Goodbyes Are Never Easy

Waiting to board his plane.
Recently, my husband received orders to go to ALC (Advanced Leader's Course).  I felt like an idiot being so sad that he was leaving...because he will only be gone for about 6-7weeks. Other military spouses are currently going through a deployment way longer than that....am I being weak or selfish?
Christopher and I have not been apart for a long period of time yet. Before I met him, he already had 3 deployments under his belt. The following 4 years while we were married, I was SUPER spoiled. The longest we have been apart since we have been married was 3 weeks when he went to WLC (Warrior Leader's Course), a school for sergeants/specialists. So why am I acting like he will be gone forever???
Christopher and I have been talking about his re-enlistment for about 6 months now off and on and it is getting really close. My husband loves his job and the Army. He is a great leader and I am so proud of him. Honestly, I can see him doing his full 20 years if the Army allows it. He and I are very close, like we should be because we are married after all! I feel very connected with him and I depend on him so much and I miss him when he is at work for only 8 hours...call me cheesy.
I really do depend on him for many things and I am spoiled. The reality of it all is that deep down I have my fears. I know that with he being sent to school, comes more training, and then deployment. When he left, it reaffirmed that deployment is near. That is why I am freaking out. He is a soldier and I should be used to this by now, the feeling of unsure-ness. I am not and never will be used to him being gone.
I would feel like a fool posting on Facebook that he will only be gone for 6 weeks because some military wives might laugh at me and say,"well at least he will not be gone for 9 months or 12 months like my husband is right now." I might be wrong and they may understand me. I have a friend here at Ft.Lewis that I have gotten close to and she is super awesome at giving advice. I asked her if she thought it was silly that I was being dramatic over all this, and she said no. We love each other...it is normal to feel this way. He is my husband and I miss him because he is not near me. That is perfectly normal, because if I didn't miss him, there would be something wrong.
Christopher makes me proud everyday and he is so good at what he does, so I can't wait to hear all of his stories about school and what he has learned. Most of the time he gives me the stories that make him laugh and he doesn't complain...he will be documenting his training on his YouTube channel and I can't wait to see him.

We did prepare for him to leave:
- We wrote down important passwords.
- We wrote out our bills.
- We discussed how we are going to communicate and laid out a round a bout time.
-He stashed weapons all around the house...lol.
- I wrote him a letter in his notebook.
- He filmed a video of himself saying goodbye and gave it to me when he left.
- We promised to email, text and take pictures and we will be filming on our channels! He says to make a lot of videos while he is away. :)

We both left each other on such great terms, no arguments, just hugs. Letting him go each time, whether he is just leaving for a few minutes, hours, weeks or months is always hard.

So the countdown begins today!!!

**(I write everything I do in a calendar or notebook while he is gone so I don't forget anything important that happened while he was away).

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